Ignorance Is Bliss

Sunday, May 28, 2017

 

INT. TRENDY COFFE SHOP - MORNING
 
Two tall, skinny ladies wearing skimpy outfits and oversized sunglasses sip on some non fat latte's, giggling and gossiping excitedly.
 
JULIE
SO...Come on Jasmine spill, how was your date last night?
 
JASMINE
Oh my god Julie it was perfect. It was just like that movie with Drew Barrymore--
 
JULIE
E.T?
 
JASMINE
NO Julie! The one with that handsome British guy.
 
JULIE
Simon Cowell?
 
JASMINE
EWW NO! Forget it, look the date was magical ok.
 
JULIE
Let me guess, tall, dark and handsome? You get all the good ones.
 
JASMINE
Dark? entirely, handsome? extremely, but tall? not so much. He's about 5'4.
 
JULIE
But you said dating anyone under 5'9 was paedophilia?
 
JASMINE
I know but Sebastian's tall on the inside. Maybe, I could get him some of those special shoes Tom Cruise wears. Besides, it's not like anyone is gonna accuse me of cradle robbing. He's like 46. 
 
JULIE
But, you said dating anyone over the age of 28 was necrophilia?
 
Jasmine slams her latte on the table, spilling some. She removes her sunglasses to give Julie her icy stare.
 
JASMINE
DAMN IT JULIE! I know what I said. What are you my personal Dictaphone?
 
Julie cowers back in her seat looking embarrassed and slightly frustrated.
 
JULIE
Jeez, sorry...I just wish you had of let me in on the rule changes before I turned down Chuck Lowe.
 
JASMINE
Chuck Lowe is exactly what it says on the tin, LOW. He smells like steamed cabbage and regret. Do you really wanna give birth to his swollen, stinky, overweight cabbage patch kids.
 
JULIE
No, but--
 
JASMINE
You forgot to feed your miniature poodle, AND IT DIED. How are you gonna take care of a litter of squealing sprouts with diabetes?
 
JULIE
I never thought about that.
 
JASMINE
No Jules, you didn't, and here I am looking out for you and all I get in return is criticism.
 
JULIE
I'm so sorry Jasmine, I am totally self absorbed. Tell me more about Sebastian.
 
Jasmine relaxes again, her face lighting up thinking about her new beau. Julie looks a little puzzled as she begins to describe him.
 
JASMINE
Where do I begin? He's a total dream boat. He has the cutest little tuft of hair. I mean, there's not much of it. Its sort of a reverse friar Tuck kinda deal, but it's adorable, and don't even get me started on his little pot belly. Well, it's not so much little, but anyways I better give it a rest before I get another hot flush.
 
Jasmine begins fanning herself with a coffee shop menu. She looks flustered and has begun to blush. Julie smiles but can't quite hide her distaste.
 
JULIE
He sounds...unique.
 
JASMINE
I'm terrible at being descriptive, but there aren't enough words in the English language to do him justice.
 
JULIE
Do you have a picture?
 
JASMINE
OMG YES! Jules you are a genius.
 
Jasmine excitedly rips out her phone and scrolls through to find a picture. She swoons and squeaks, proudly showing the picture to Julie. The magician is a small, stout, balding man with rosy cheeks and a funny mustache.

 

JASMINE

I captioned this one "Chillin with Bae" and I tagged him. He didn't untag himself, so I'm pretty sure this means we're like totally ofish!

 

JULIE
Jasmine that's Sebastian Shocks.
 
JASMINE 
Oh my god, you know him?
 
JULIE
Uh sort of... He's on TV, he has his own show. He's that famous magician guy that can make people do, think and say whatever he wants. OH--
 
JASMINE
OH what?
 
JULIE
You don't think he--
 
JASMINE
Earth to Julie! Magicians aren't real. It's all staged...right? I mean come on he's obviously totally cute...right?
 
JULIE
--
 
JASMINE
Meh what does it matter? He's filthy rich and famous. As long as he keeps working his mojo on me, ignorance is bliss.

 

The End

 

This was another short little script I wrote for a weekly writing challenge on hitRECord. This challenge was issued by the talented Ellieyah on HR and the goal was to write a short script revolving around a date with a magician. I hope you enjoyed it.

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©2017 by Daniel Devenney.